I Felt Like A Fool

I felt like a fool
the night that you told me
all of your truths came out
allowing you the luxury
of a weightless conscience
while you stood there
loading so much onto me
that I thought my back
was going to snap and break

I felt like a fool
when I thought about all
of the years that I labored
giving you my better years
only to be dropped  
like one of my cigarettes
after the fire had gone out
and the smoke that had been
finally drifted away

I felt like a fool
as I began my trip back
driving down that dark road
between the man I had been
and the one that I had become
that was a long long trip
for being such a short hi-way
but you probably never
gave it one single thought

I felt like a fool
as I left soon after
for the low desert air
of southern Arizona
traveling to forget
but not getting it done
between anger and sadness
my road stretched out
connecting you with me

I felt like a fool
on that night I called you
while I stood in the parking lot
of a Roswell New Mexico gas station
and you barely could even talk
but yet I could hear Him
in the background speaking
and the feeling of hopelessness
was covered up with my anger

I felt like a fool
being out there alone
so very far from home
while another man
had the company of my family
not his but mine
and a warm house to be in
one that I had rented
stupid was I not to see

I felt like a fool
driving back across Texas
over the cap rock I rolled
crossing the border line
until slowly my anger eased
by the time I got to Fort Worth
the hurt took back over
and the both of you were safe
never knowing how close you had come

I felt like a fool
partly I behaved like one
a silly fool still in love
with a wife that no longer
desired to have him near
a wife that wouldn't even
talk to him on the phone
I listened to Thumbelina
and wiped tears with my sleeve

I felt like a fool
I surely did
I felt like a fool
with no home to return too
I felt like a fool
and it hurt me inside

Yes, I felt like a fool